Choices

Hi everyone, I know it’s been a while since my last post but God put something on my heart to talk about right now.

I’ve recently had very difficult weeks of school. My mood swings were so frequent and I had little to no time to read my Bible. Because of this, the devil tried hard to tempt me by using my feelings to get to me. However, it took me a while to realize I’m a lot stronger than he realizes.

This past afternoon I felt like I was in the pits of darkness. Those times when you feel there’s nobody you can go too. The thing is though, you have a CHOICE.

You can choose to go into solitude in order to seek God or to seek depression. See, when you have God you don’t have to rely on your feelings to get you through situations. You can lay down everything you think about, your feelings, and your situations at the foot of the cross.

I had a CHOICE. I could’ve seeked solitude to put myself even further down. I could’ve gone on social media and sunk myself deeper into jealously “seeing how perfect everyone else’s life is”. I could’ve wrote down everything that was going on, and rely on my own strength to fix it. That’s just not how it should go.

If you are depressed and have no where to go, and you try to get yourself into a state of peace on your own power that puts even more pressure on yourself. It goes something like this…

Let’s say, “I believe people don’t care about me and I’m worthless”. I don’t recognize that this is just the devil trying to get into my head, I see this as “REALITY” or “TRUTH”. So when I go into my solitude to get away from the world, the devil just pours more and more of these thoughts into my brain. The Devil wants me isolated because then I’m vulnerable. So now, not only do “I believe that people don’t care about me and I’m worthless.” I now start to investigate the lie without questioning rather it’s TRUTH to begin with. I think to myself “what do I have to change to get people to care about me more?” ,“Am I the problem?”, and “I have no purpose because I’m worthless”.

So now the Devil has got me wrapped around his finger. I believe even more lies about myself as a result, and now I have to rely on my own strength to find peace when my “own thoughts are against me”.

This is why we have a choice.

“When in solitude and not using it to seek God, to become more suppressed.”

or

“When in solitude and using it to seek God, to become more stable”

How? You might ask. Well, when you rely on God’s Strength and his Holy word to fight your battles he gives you what you need to make it through each season of your life. That’s why earlier today I wrote a whole prayer journal to God, and was able to finish up the book of Isaiah. Now, keep in mind I was in the darkness and by the time I finished spending time with God I felt nothing but light.

Through the Bible study, I wrote down 3 whole pages of notes. You see, the Bible is the living word of God, once you pray for the Holy Spirit to convict your heart when reading it, (God shows all the answers to the prayers you gave him). I ended my solitude with peace and “stability”. I felt better about myself and eager to make God the center of my heart once again.

As a Christian, it can be challenging because we often lose sight of where God should be in our priorities. Sadly, the longer you resist spending time with him the easier it is for the devil to creep in there and drown you in every negative thought you can think of.

When we spend time with God, the devil has no foothold to tell us any lies unless we focus on him instead of God. Like I said before it’s a CHOICE.

God is here to help you. I read in Isaiah today that he cares about us. He cared about us before our mother’s womb, in our mother’s womb, and even all the way until elderly age, (Isaiah 46:3-4).

It all comes down to this. When we let the devil “drown us in negative thoughts” , we also allow him “to stop us from feeling God’s peace”. It’s a choice we have to be in the Bible. Not just in hard times, but in content times as well. See if I was in my Bible daily, I would’ve immediately recognized the darkness I was feeling was from the Devil. Then, I would’ve renewed my mind with everything that God thinks about me. Instead I had to make a CHOICE…

To choose seeking God when the Devil was sinking me”.

Have a fabulous weekend!