Entitled

What does it mean to feel entitled, you may ask?

Well, “entitled” means believing oneself to be inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. To put in simpler terms, the feeling of being inclined to rewards due to your individual efforts or just because of who you are as a person.

Just the other day, I caught the feeling of “entitlement” in plain sight. On Thursday night, I was studying for 3 tests, and trying to get all caught up before Friday morning. The problem with this was, the more I completed, the more I found other things that were due that I didn’t complete yet. I was there sitting on the couch trying to get through all my schoolwork and I just couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough to do so.

Eventually, I get a little jealous. My mom already announced that she was going to bed and my dad was staying up to watch his favorite TV shows. I was doing neither of those things. Not to mention, I had unfinished chores that I was expected to not put off till last minute.

I started getting so much anger in my heart. I was stuck. I was tired. Nobody was noticing my effort and everybody else got to do what they wanted. I was entitled. I was prideful. I wanted my family to feel my pain and effort I was putting in.

This was not the way to go about doing hard work. Not even close. I love my family and I would never wish them to feel the same feelings I was feeling in that moment.

So where was this feeling of “entitlement” coming from?

It’s safe to say it wasn’t from God. It was from my flesh.

You see when jealously creeps in, your sense of humility leaves.

I wasn’t thinking of myself less. I was thinking of myself more. In that moment, I didn’t know the answer to finding my way out of these flesh-filled desires.

Until, I picked up my Bible and read a passage out of the book of Ezekiel.

“On the day you were born, no one cared about you. Your umbilical cord was not cut, and you were never washed, rubbed with salt, and wrapped in cloth.

No one had the slightest interest in you; no one pitied you or cared for you. On the day you were born, you were unwanted, dumped in a field and left to die.

“But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, ‘Live!’

And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked.

And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows.

I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.”

‭‭Ezekiel‬ ‭16‬:‭4‬-‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This passage is talking about the Kingdom of Judah, but it interprets Judah as if it was a person to put in perspective the grace of God.

When I read this passage, it all clicked for me. Nothing I have is mine. It’s all the LORD’s. That’s when I realized no matter the amount of work I put in, it doesn’t matter if I get recognized for it. It was never mine to begin with. God gave me hands to type and write. He gave me a brain to think out what I want to take notes on. He gave me a mind to help me remember other study tools to rely on. He gave me parents who will pay for said study tools.

Everything I do, God allowed me to do. Everything I have, God handed to me. Everything I am, God created me to be.

Just remembering these truths, immediately flees humility back into my heart. If nothing I have is mine, then with everything I do, I need to make sure I’m spreading Jesus with his belongings.

Yelling at my parents for having a break, breaks God’s trust in you with his belongings.

So once we break free from striving for Entitlement, what do we strive to be?

An Esther. Esther is a woman from the Bible who chose Humility when Entitlement was the easier choice.

She was the queen to King Xerxes. Her cousin Mordecai had a complication with Haman (the chief officer) at that time. Mordecai (being a Jew), Haman ordered King Xerxes to kill all the Jews. Now, Esther is related to Mordecai so she also had Jewish nationality. So she had a choice to make, does she speak up for all her people (the Jews) and put her life at risk or let them die to protect her life? Being a Queen, she still could be killed for upsetting the King in any way.

However, Esther was a women of God. Not just a “queen”. Long story short, she walked right up to the king and asked him to not kill all the Jews. She also reported Haman’s plot to kill all the Jews. The King got rid of his decree, and executed Haman for his treachery.

Esther walked away unscathed. She was protected by God. But what if she was entitled? All of her people including possibly her own cousin would be killed. She would just sit there doing nothing even though she had Jewish nationality. That is not the God way. Instead, she finds the courage to talk to the king and doesn’t even fear dying “If I perish, I perish.” She stuck up for her people.

So don’t be entitled be an Esther.

Someone who is so selfless and humble that it doesn’t matter your “status” you will do what God calls you to do. You will responsibly take care of what God has entrusted you with. Lastly, you will elevate others above yourself before you even think about worrying if you’re getting the credit.

On my journey of becoming a proverbs 31 women, I definitely want to be an Esther not entitled.